Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Disabled Corgi Doga

Since I've never done yoga I didn't know the benefits, but now that I've experienced DCD (Disabled Corgi Doga) I can appreciate yoga.

Here are some of the poses. I am auditioning people to demonstrate these moves in photo form; please send your pictures and if acceptable, I will add them to this post!

Downward Expressing Dog: with dog in cart, bend at the waist, until hands are just inches from the ground and around the dog's bladder. Squeeze. Hold position as long as it takes the dog to do his part.

Variation: Downward diapering dog: Instead of squeezing the bladder, diaper the dog.

Standing Forward Stirrup bend: from a stand, lean forward until you can catch the dog's back feet and insert them into stirrups. (It is not recommended to do this after a full meal.)

Tripping Dancer pose: lift one foot as though to take a step. Dog quickly rolls cart into position in which you would normally put the foot down. Hold pose as long as you can or until you fall into Gasping Fish pose, which involves lying on the ground hoping nothing is broken.

Attempting to sleep pose: Lie on back (or side if you prefer) until disabled dog wants something (this should take no more than a few minutes at most.) Attempt to satisfy dog without getting up.

Upward-standing dogmom: Move your mattress to the floor to keep your disabled dog company, and then rise from your bed to a standing position. This pose may be done in sequence with the attempting to sleep pose.

Hands and knees balance: get down on hands and knees and sniff carpet. Slowly move forward until you locate source of smell. Holding the pose, lift one arm and spray Nature's Miracle (or your preferred odor eliminator) on the spot. Repeat until you achieve peace of nose.